RIP
Sleep easy LVK. forever in our hearts.
Still can’t believe you’re gone Luke. Sitting here with my fingers on the keyboard and so many thoughts going through my head but there’s nothing I can say that can express this feeling.
Actually living.
Wow. Just had the most wonderful bike ride. The nutritionist approved me for exercise today and it is the most beautiful day out so I came home and went for a 10ish minute bike ride around the neighborhood. It was an incredible experience. The whole time I was riding I was feeling all these things about my body that I’ve never felt before- respect, appreciation, thankfulness. I felt such pure joy. I was using my body the way it’s supposed to be used, I am treating it well and nourishing it, and it felt incredible to move my body. I was so unaware of calories that I didn’t even realize I wasn’t thinking about calories until I came home. It just, wow, that was an unbelievable experience. I’m so excited to be able to do things like this more, and enjoy my body and enjoy the world. Just wow. I want to shout to the world how I feel right now. I feel truly powerful. And after writing this I’ll have my snack and fuel my body. I thought my ED was power and control, but this is true power, and it is so far from the “power” of my ED. I feel incredible.
Sorry I haven’t been around much
Partial is exhausting, definitely helpful but exhausting. I’ve been working my ass off and happy to say that I’ve done really well with my meal plan this past week (week? I’ve been home from resi a whole week??) I’m doing a lot of sleeping, typical bed time has been 9:30 haha, but I’m feeling really motivated right now and trying to keep that going. I’ll be back in the tumblr world soon, I promise!
I am homeee
Tonight will be my second night back in my own bed! Yay! And my puppy sleeps in my bed every night. Today was my first day of partial, it was weird. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to be home…but I miss resi. Is that weird? I’m having so many mixed feelings…
Starting residential tomorrow…won’t be on tumblr much.
Sweatpants? Check. Coloring books? Check. More sweatpants? Check. More coloring books? Check.
New followers yay!
Lions and tigers and 62 followers, oh my! Lols yes that is a lot to me. Ask me questions! :)
Sigh…going to inpatient.
I had my therapist today…and I’m taking the rest of the semester off and going to inpatient. I didn’t expect her to say that’s what I needed going in, but as soon as she did I felt relieved and I know it’s what I need to do. I’m not sure where I’m going to be yet, my mom is going to be calling a few places and the plan is to start next week. So that’s where I’m at. I’ll be okay, right?
